Mummy blogs…

I decided to start a series – Why Did I? on this blog to chronicle reasons why I made certain decisions in my parenting journey.

Nicole is now five and I am beginning to forget what was my original frame of mind when I made certain decisions. By the time Nathan and Nadine came along, it was a case of, “What did we do the last time?”.

You can be sure, I stopped consulting those Parenting Books for #2 & #3! There was simply no time! So they inherited the goodness (& badness) of what we did with #1!

I figured if I don’t document this somewhere, it would eventually just disappear. Years down the road, I’ll end up like an old nag when I tell my kids what to do with their kids, cos Mummy-used-to-do-it-although-I-don’t-know-why!!

So first on this series – the age-old debate on Pacifier Usage!

Just the other day, I saw an old picture of Nicole and the pacifier. (and at TWO years old!!!)

I remember when I was pregnant, I told myself – NO pacifier for my kids. It would affect their teeth growth, it would give them a false sense of security, it would confuse them – pacifier vs breast teats vs bottle teats …

Yet, there she was, chewing on her PIE (that’s what she called it) so nonchalantly. Clearly, we gave her the go ahead! And we found pictures of Nathan and Nadine with it too. (Justification: Nathan stopped at 6 months, Nadine stopped at 3 months) So why?

Reasons in chronological order:

1. We bought two pacifiers just in case the baby needed it.

2. Nicole kept crying. and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying.

3. It was not time for milk. Her bottom was clean. It was not a hot day. We were playing music at the background. AND we didn’t want to carry her anymore.

4. We shoved it in her mouth, and initially she spitted it out. (Who wouldn’t? Try shoving a foreign object into someone’s mouth!) Greatest deception – 1st-time parents’ natural response: “Look at that, she’s so clever! She doesn’t like the pacifier!”

5. Nicole kept crying. and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying

6. We shoved and we shoved and we shoved the pacifier in. She stopped crying.

7. When #2 and #3 came along, we bought SIX pacifiers knowing that the baby needs it.

And that’s why I gave my kids the pacifier.

Are you facing the stress of choosing a Pre-School for your children?

Well, it seems that all of us parents have to go through that sooner or later and recently, I had the privilege to conduct an email interview with Fiona Walker (CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning, Chiltern House Child Care Centres and Julia Gabriel School of Education) to get her input about about choosing a Pre-School?

Fiona has had more than a decade of experience with Pre-Schoolers and I thought that this interview will be very useful for us parents.

Here are some of the questions that I put to her:

1. What are some factors to consider when looking for a pre-school?

Choosing the right pre-school for your child can be challenging for parents. Here are few tips that can help you and your child feel confident you have made the right choice.

• Decide what location you prefer and what your budget is. It is important that the school you choose will comfortably fit into your family’s lifestyle.
• Once you have narrowed down the possibilities, make arrangements to visit the schools. Many schools will have a similar sounding philosophy so it is important you know what to look for so you can see if it will work for you and your child.
• On your visit ask yourself – Do the children seem happy, are they actively engaged in a variety of activities, is the environment bright, cheerful and filled with children’s art work, is the equipment plentiful, varied and in good condition? Do the teachers seem happy, are they engaged with the children, are they good language models and are they observant and aware of all the children in their care, are the children comfortable and affectionate with the teachers?
• If you are happy with your first impression then make an appointment to meet the principal. You may consider asking the following questions:

· What are the teachers’ experience and qualifications?

· How important is the child’s social and emotional development as opposed to the more academic development?

· How does the school ensure the children are prepared for Primary One?

· How does the school deal with children testing boundaries and conflict? This is a normal aspect of young children’s development but it is important that you agree with the schools approach to discipline.

· How does the school ensure safety during pick-up times, outdoor play and field trips?

· How well is the curriculum suited to meet individual learning styles and personalities?

· How involved are parents? What channels of communication between home and school are encouraged?

2. What is the most appropriate age to send a child for pre-school?

Generally the most appropriate age to send children to preschool is between 2 and 3.

This is when children will generally have developed the language needed to express needs and wants, the physical development to be able to go to the toilet independently and the cognitive understanding to become familiar with the routines within the school setting. All of these stages of development are good indicators of whether or not a child will be able to make the transition to independent schooling without too much separation anxiety and distress.

3. What is the difference between a childcare/pre-school that is MCYS endorsed and MOE endorsed?

A childcare operated by the MCYS offers childcare for working parents as well as an MOE approved curriculum. Childcare centres must operate from 7:00a.m. to 7:00p.m., throughout the year.

Fees are paid monthly and a subsidy of $300 per month for full day is given to Singaporean parents.

MOE kindergartens run during the school term times of 40 weeks a year. They generally run for 3 hours a day and are not eligible for subsidy. Many kindergartens offer additional enrichment programmes for additional cost.

4. What are some factors that we can compromise if parents cannot afford the top premium schools.

Get ready for a list of “Do Not’s” here:

• Do not compromise on providing your child what is necessary for a happy day at school.
• Do not compromise on a cheerful, bright environment which is well kept and clean.
• Do not compromise on kind, caring staff who genuinely love their job and enjoy spending time with your child.
• Do not compromise on senior staff members who understand the needs of young children and can balance that with the needs of the Singaporean school system.
• Do not compromise on a curriculum which means children learn through active, hands-on experiences NOT teacher directed rote learning.
• Do not compromise on open communication with the school.

The most premium schools generally have small class sizes, expensive, imported equipment and very well qualified staff. Of course that is all wonderful but children can often flourish in a larger group with interesting, age appropriate resources as long as the teachers understand them, the lessons are well planned and involve active learning.

-end of interview-

I think that these tips are very useful considerations that we can take into account when we are considering a pre-school for our children.

Most importantly, I think we must find a good pre-school within our family’s budget as well.

I know of parents who take extra jobs just to provide a premium school education for their kids… We Parents must realize that Mums and Dads are the best role models for our children, and that there is no substitute for Quality Time!

Check out more Parenting Tips at the Julia Gabriel Blogger’s Forum.

Before I go, do remember to vote for me TODAY at the Singapore Blog Awards.

You can Vote again, even if you have done so already, and you can find out more details here! Thanks

I have NEVER seen so many Dad’s gathered on one place before!

…the carpark was filled with cars, and there were only MEN going into the carpark lift…

…the hotel hotel was filled with MEN as well and when I entered the Ballroom, I saw the largest gathering of Dads in one place!

(I was relived to know that terrorist were not targeting Dads!)

This was the scene that greeted me, as I went for the inaugural Parenting Conference for Dads for Life. (Many Thanks to Maybe Baby * for sponsoring my ticket)

Check out the full article on the Maybe Baby site, as I discuss Josh Mcdowell’s Parenting Tips and other insights in this week’s blog entry at Maybe Baby.

* Maybe Baby is a Parenting Site supported by MCYS to provide a one-stop localised interactive on-line parenthood portal for couples seeking information on fertility, sexual intimacy, finances, lifestyle issues, pregnancy, work-life balance and other parenthood-related issues.

On Wed night, we had a very different but eventful evening. We went for a ride on the double-decker buses called the “Hippo Bus.”

The last time we went for a Hippo Bus Tour was in December 2008! Check out how the kids looked back then!

My..my..my! How they have grown!

This time round, the Hippo Tour was coming with a new and different twist! We were doing it at night (Previously, we did it in the day) and we were going to experience the Bugis/Bras Basah Precinct in a totally different setting.

This tour is organized by our friends from Omy.sg, in cooperation with the radio stations 91.3 FM and 100.3 FM! So…it was going to be great ride as we were going to be entertained by the Radio DJs from the station.

The kids were really excited as we gathered at the National Museum and saw the buses arriving at 7pm.

Before we could board our Bus, our DJs’ Jeremy Ratnam and Maddy grabbed onto their Loud-Hailers and entertained us with their witty sense of humour, as they gathered us.

 

As the buses came, we were spilt into 2 buses of enthusiastic “Hippolites”. We got into the 91.3 buses, and naturally we were all covered in 91.3 memorabilia.

The kids loved the Hippo Bus and they just loved sitting on the Upper Deck and exploring the bus. Here’s Nicole looking at the driver’s controls.

The Bus route covered the Old Bras Basah Area such as the Singapore Art Museum (The Old St. Joseph’s Institution) and the old Armenian Church.

DJ Jeremy Ratnam was really knowledgeable about the Bras Basah Area, as he used to stay around the area. He told us about what the places used to look like before the renovations and most importantly, where the best food in the area was found!

We made our pit-stop at Chijmes (This is the location of the Old Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus).  DJ Maddy who used to study here also briefly told the bus, that the convent was ideally situated for the guys at St. Joseph’s Institution to “gawk” at. I think some things never change!  

Chijmes is actually very beautifully lighted up at night, and this was the 1st time the kids were there. We walked around, slowly enjoying the night scenes and the kids loved playing at the fountain.

Jeremy Ratnam ended the Chijmes tour by giving us a brief historical rundown of the old Convent.

In fact, I remember when I was young, the old convent was really run-down and it had old dirty stained walls. 

Now, it is really well done-up and also boats of many  bustling pubs and eateries. In fact, with the many large screens in the area, it looks like an ideal place the catch the European Cup Finals or the World Cup in June with some friends.

Is the Tour Worth Going?

I think that the Hippo Ride at fun is really more enjoyable than going in the day!

This is because the weather at night is much more pleasant, and it makes sitting at the upper deck of the bus more tolerable.

I remember literally “sweating like a dog” the last time, I sat at the upper deck.

The Night scenes also offered a different view of Singapore, and generally there is more relaxed mood, when you see the city at night!

The only thing missing was the food – and if the Singapore Tourism Board, could do something about that, I am sure that the Buses can really bring in the Tourists! 

Overall, It was a fun thing for the family to do, and the kids enjoyed the bus ride! Thanks once again to Omy for the tickets!

As a Daddy Blogger who is finding out more about Parenting everyday, I am always looking to learn from other Parents.

Family Night Out – A New Parenting Initiative by NTUC seems to be perfect solution to all our Parenting Solutions.

Last Friday, NTUC had its Inaugural Event at eXplorer Kids @ E!hub in Downtown East.

With the event held at the largest Indoor Playground, the location was a definite hit with my kids!

In fact, upon entering the Playground, they quickly forgot about my existence and they headed for the slides and obstacles.

Meanwhile, as the kids were playing outside, the Parents were learning from:

Mr. Lau Tat Chuan (Director of the Centre for Fathering)

The talk was designed to help us explore practical methods to balance career and family aspirations, and discover new approaches towards successful living and parenting.

Mr Lau is a father himself and with his oldest child in his early teens, it was really informative to hear from someone who has had a lot more experiences in Parenting.

Here are some quick issues he brought up:

1. Quality Time Vs. Quantity Time

Many working parents “harp” on the fact that it is not Quantity Time that is important but it is Quality Time that really counts.

Eg. No point getting your kids out for breakfast, if you are just reading your Newspapers and ignoring them at the breakfast table.

However, Mr Lau pointed out that when it comes to Quality Time, there is a certain intangible Quantity Time that must be invested. I thought this made sense, as we need to give them a certain amount of Quantity Time, before we can hit this threshold of Quality Time.

2. Different Roles of Men and Women

Women tend to be generally more physically protective of their children rather than Men. At the playground, Men are more relaxed, while Women tend to worry more when the kids are up on the slides and on the swing.

Women are also just more detailed and more emotionally connected which makes up for the shortcomings of most Men. 

Overall, I think that Mr. Lau was a very sincere speaker, and his stories about How he Shouted at his eldest kid too much really displayed honesty and openness.

I think as Parents, we must understand that it is basically On-the-Job Training, and most importantly, we must be willing to change our Parenting Styles whenever it is not working.

If you are interested in Parenting Talks such as the one discussed here. There will be more talks coming up on 14 May 2010.

It will still be at eXplorer kids, so you don’t need to worry about baby-sitting the children.

Date:

14 May 2010

Time:

8.00 pm to 9.00 pm (talk)
7.30pm to 10.00 pm (children’s playtime at eXplorerkid)

Venue:

E!Hub @ Downtown East, 1 Pasir Ris Close, 3rd Level, Singapore 519599

Get more details from the U Family website!