Time flies when you are watching the telly or just surfing on the internet! If adults suffer from this problem, how much more our kids?

One of the greatest challenges that Parents face is having enough time with the kids. After a busy day at work, it is easy to be at home with the kids but not spending time with them. The TV is switched on, the laptop is running, and the smart phone is beeping. Sometimes we are home but not at home!

As a father of 3 kids, I have been guilty of leaving the kids to their own devices, and just letting the telly become their baby sitter. It is definitely more convenient, but after some serious consideration, recently we just put a security code on our telly. With this restriction on “TV time”, the kids have greatly benefitted!

Needless to say, to kids had some initial “withdrawal” symptoms, but after the first week, they have learned to adapt. Now, they are taking out their old toys, and playing more with each other!

However, Good and Effective Parenting does not stop there! In this digital age, it is a foregone conclusion that kids are getting more and more media savvy. Boundaries are great and essential for development, but it has to come with Parental Involvement.

Whether or not your kids find out about Facebook today or tomorrow, we need to be involved with the kids. As much as possible, we need to be with our kids while they are watching, surfing, gaming or reading, we have to teach our children to be smart consumers.

Here are a few quick tips for Parents:

1. Conversation Starter – Avoid Lecturing the kids.

All of us have tons of stories of our mothers lecturing us over the telly, and over every media device that came into our hands. Instead, exert your influence in a subtle way, by asking guided questions. As you watch, surf and update your status, let them know about your how you feel towards technology issues, and use it as a tool to tactfully impart family values.

2. Role Modeling

Children are always silent and quick observers. They watch our daily habits, and they pretty much grow up learning from us. Unfortunately, kids learn the good and the bad, and therefore it is difficult to restrict Internet or TV time, when we are also always staring at computer screens every day.

If we want to have decent conversations with our kids, we have to actively put down our mobile phones at the dinner table and engage our spouses as well.

3. Balance is the Key

A healthy diet is always essential. Rather than debating with your partner whether 13 is an acceptable age to start a Facebook account, focus your energies on how you can set effective boundaries and enforce them. If one can effectively teach in a fun but safe way, the repercussions of a reckless status update, the lessons learnt will definitely be more beneficial than any other negative enforcement. Couple that with a healthy social life involving the outdoors, kids will grow up with a healthy disposition.

Conclusion

The best thing about Parenting is that kids always look up to their parents. Even though, some kids may find it difficult to express their desire for parental involvement, that inward desire for our involvement is always real. It is this need for a Parental figure that ensures that “We are never too late!”

This article was first published as a contribution by ED Unloaded to the Media Literacy Council .

As a father of 3, I am regularly asked the question “Where do I find the time?”

The questions increase when they find out that I have a blog, and they wonder where do I find the time to blog, on top of my working and family time?

Granted that I only picked up blogging a few years ago, blogging was not exactly in my blood. Coupled with the fact that having 3 kids is quite a sizeable number in “Baby-shy” Singapore, many people always ask how we cope?

Well, the #1 advice that I always give to family and friends, is don’t forget “ME” time!

As working professionals, we spend a good time of our day in the office. On average, a Singaporean spends at least 9 hours or more at the office, and when we get home, we are tired. However, upon reaching the house, we are faced with another set of problems. From office politics, we find ourselves burdened with family politics. We are transformed into “Sergeant Majors” who make sure that vegetables are eaten, to Professional Umpires who settle important playground disputes. The day seems to get longer and longer, and when it’s time to sit on your favourite sofa, it’s time to go to bed.

Inevitably, couples don’t have much time to do anything together, and one can forget about “dating” your partner.

So what is my solution?

The best life-saver that I have found in my 8 years of Parenting is…

1. Get the kids to sleep early!

Sleep is not just essential for the children’s development, but for your development as well! Yes! When the kids are asleep, that is when you will find the peace in the house to not just have some “ME” time, but also time for yourself to catch up with your partner.

I used to think that it is nice for the kids to wake up for Daddy and Mummy, so that when the parents come home, we can get to spend some time with the kids.  However, Staying awake past 9pm is not just unhealthy for the children’s development, but in terms of lifestyle, it is definitely not a healthy lifestyle for the kids to cultivate.

Furthermore, two wrongs don’t make a right. The problem of working long hours is a problem…and making the kids stay up late to make up for our indiscretions seems counter productive. Instead, we are the solution to our own problems!  We should be thinking and making decisions that will bring us home earlier.

When the kids sleep early, not only has Daddy and Mummy time to do their own things, but a chance to unwind and do their own things. With that extra amount of time, you will find the time to develop a healthy lifestyle, and time to bring your partner out for a movie date as well! After all, you do want to be able to have the ability to enjoy your grandchildren in the years to come

Yes! And because the kids sleep early, that is where I can find the time to blog and catch up with the English Premier League as well!

Recently, Nathan told us that he really really really wants to go to: (in no particular order) New York, Tokyo, Paris, Hong Kong, London, Rome, Bangkok.

We were curious how his geography seemingly improved or if it was some stock market news he heard cos many of these were all major markets! Well, they were all from Cars2! Thanks or no thanks, my boy now has dream holidays to these big cities!

Some have been asking me, what do we pack for a family holiday? We did a post once on Family Fun Vacation and it’s time for an update! So besides the clothes & shoes, here’s our list!

With our family—7 yo, 5 yo and 4 yo, this is what we pack for our trips:

1. Pull-up Diapers – In the hand carry bag, and in the bag you bring around everywhere. Emergencies are aplenty and they have a tendency to happen at the dirtiest mall, or on long road trips!

2. Notepads for each child with coloring pencils or just a pen – They love to draw, write notes, and scribble. This occupies them for many hours.

One of the tasks we get them to do is to write down all of our room numbers. (this includes all family members traveling with us, or friends) It also helps them remember their own room number!

3. Toy Cars (matchbox size) – Nathan’s current big love. He can play with 3 cars all alone for a entire afternoon, making strange noises. Best part—it works even in confined spaces like plane seats!

Do note that the cars trigger the metal detectors at the airport!

4. Books – One thin book for each child to read. For Nicole, we even brought her spelling list once! No choice, cos the spelling test would fall on the day after we reached home.

5. Basic kiddy travel pack – Tissues, Babywipes, Hand Sanitisers, Water Bottle, Long sleeve warm top.

At the end of the day, we got the kids to be part of the packing process. They know what’s packed and what’s left behind, so they do have some responsibilities too!

Driving a car in Singapore is always expensive, and one is always looking for ways to save on the pocket.

One of the killer points about owning a car in Singapore is Parking! As the family goes to the Orchard Area regularly, here are my tips about Parking in the Orchard Area.

In order to save money, I try to mix my Parking with Public Transport. As a result, I try to park close to MRT stations that are just outside the CBD gantries. With ERP charges going up to $2.50 at certain times, avoiding these gantries can result in good cost savings.

Parking close to City Hall

If you are going to the Bugis, City Hall area, and if you want to be near the East West Rail, Parking at Raffles Hospital is a good alternative.

Located just outside Bugis MRT, the Carpark only charges $1.83 per entry from Mon to Fri after 5pm. (Please be aware that this charge is only applicable to weekday nights and not applicable on weekends)

This is an ideal car park, if you are thinking about weekday shopping within the City Hall area.

Parking in Orchard Road Area

The most surprising thing about ION is the Parking Charges. Compared to Takashimaya – it is cheap!

 

On Mon – Sun, from 5pm onwards – expect only to $3.74 per entry!

That is really a bargain, considering its central location.

I also usually avoid Coupon Parking next to Wheelock Place, as Fatimah is “too on” at that car park. If you are late for 5 mins, you will find a parking fine on your windscreen.

A good alternative is Far East Shopping Centre. This is the one next to Wheelock and not next to Scotts Shopping Centre.

Parking Charges are at $3.50 per entry from Mon to Sat from 5pm onwards.

Sunday Parking is $3.50 all day! 

Parking near Paragon and Takashimaya

If you think that ION is a bit too far to your shopping area, you can also park at “The Heeren”.

This  “Ghost Town” of a mall offers great parking, as it has been largely forgotten by the shopping public.

From Mon – Sat, it is only $3 per entry from 5pm onwards.

On Sundays and Public Holidays, it is $3 for 1st 3 hours, and $1.30 for next subsequent half/hour.

That is definitely quite affordable considering the prices at the Paragon.

Ok…these are my Parking Tips for now…They are definitely not exhaustive, and if you have better spots, do let me know! I am definitely not a guru, but just a parent looking to save a few dollars!  

To get the latest parking rates, you can visit Sg Car Mart and One Motoring

All Parents worry…and as my little girl is going to Primary School soon, lots of questions come to my mind….

One of my most pressing questions is:

How do I prepare my child for Primary School?

Recently, I met up with Fiona Walker (CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning, Chiltern House Child Care Centres and Julia Gabriel School of Education), and I asked for her opinions on this topic:

How well a child copes with the transition into Primary One will depend on how well they are prepared for that move.

There are a number of factors for parents to consider.

Firstly how do YOU feel?

Your attitude will greatly impact your child’s attitude towards the new school.

You must be confident this is a positive move for your child, and one that with support he is ready for. If you are shaky about the transition your child will pick that up and lose faith in the belief that she will be just fine there.

When faced with a new and unknown situations, children will naturally look to their parents for cues on how to behave.

Talk to your child about the fun and joy you remember about your school days, the friendships you forged and the happy memories you have of that time.

Secondly, remember we are the sum of all our experiences.

Children will face a new situation with the knowledge and experience gained from previous activities, experiences and feelings. The more positive experiences your child has had outside of the home and away from immediate family the more confident they will be when faced with a new environment and people.

By enabling our children to attend activities they enjoy and arranging social play-dates and sleepovers we build up their confidence in managing in unfamiliar situations.

More than academic learning it is the life skills of confidence, positive communication, high self esteem, problem solving and creative thinking that children need to make a success of new situations. As parents we can help children develop these skills by developing trusting bonds, playing with them, enabling them to play with peers, modeling positive discipline at home, by reading together and listening to their ideas and thoughts.

Prepare your child for the transition by talking about the expectations in primary school, the need to buy food from the canteen, the need to be able to ask for help and directions when feeling unsure or lost. Some preschools visit a nearby primary school in Kindergarten Two and this can be a valuable trip for many children who are unsure of what primary school will mean.

You cannot prepare a child for P1 by putting them into intensive tuition programmes in the last term of K2. Yes, children do need to be academically ready but the expectations are not nearly as high as some parents remember them to be. If your child is able to read basic sentences, write basic sentences and do relatively simple mathematics they will be fine, as long as they have a sense of enthusiasm and look forward to making new friends and can adapt to new environments.

Thirdly, ensure you have realistic expectations of your child.

Each child is different and some children take on the new challenge with enthusiasm and hardly a backward glance, others will need a longer time to warm-up and may require more support and understanding from you and their teachers before they are really comfortable in their new school. Some children will find the academic work easy but may struggle with the organizational skills needed to be independent or the confidence needed to make new friends.

If you know what your child is likely to find more challenging you can help them accordingly. It is a common fact that children, and adults for that matter, learn more readily when they are happy.

So take the time to arrange play-dates and help them organize their school bag and books. Once they have friends and are confident in their new routines the learning will most likely fall into place.

Lastly, keep it all in perspective.

School is important, of that there is no doubt. But it is not everything!

There is a tendency to become somewhat consumed by ‘preparing’ your child for Primary One. But what you ultimately have to remember is school is not everything and not everyone will excel in all areas of school life. What we must remember is that our children heading off to ‘big school’ are only 6 years old and they have a right to a happy childhood.

Don’t become so consumed by making sure they are successful in school and the academic subjects taught there that we forget to ensure our children have a balance in their life.

As parents we must do all we can to make the transition to primary school as smooth as we can, we must be there to listen to their concerns, to help them understand what is expected of them and at the same time to make sure they have a balanced life. A childhood in which there is time to play, time to focus on other subjects they can succeed in, including art, music and sports, and a childhood in which they feel loved and valued.

As with any big change there will be a period of adjustment. Moving into primary school is one of the bigger transitions we face in our school life but it does not need to be traumatic; together you can face the new challenges with a sense of excitement, confident in the knowledge that there is much to learn and new friendships and opportunities just waiting to unfold.

The best thing you can do for your child as they prepare for the next step in their educational journey is to remain positive and available for them emotionally. It WILL be fine.