R Rated Children’s Post

This post is Rated R, and it contains content that may be offensive to some readers.

Nathan is half-way through his toilet training programme. He can go diaper-less through the day, and would let his caregivers know when he needs to shishi (pee) or poopoo (poo).

toilet training 1

But whenever that happens, it is a race against time to get him to the toilet. Most parents would know that at this stage, the pre-schooler only informs you of his toilet needs when he cannot contain the pee/poo any longer.

Well, last Monday, I was driving Nicole and Nathan to school. Just me and the two kids.

Along the way, Nathan shouted out loud, “Mummy, I need to shishi!”

Oh no! Mummy is driving, we are going to reach school soon. Can you ask the shishi to wait? Let’s ask the shishi not to come out!

 

(Okok… I know this is silly, but that’s what I always tell them. Address the issue, then distract them. Some parents told me you should just change topic and talk about something else. But I’m so worried, what if they pee when we are talking about Thomas the Train or singing The Wheels of the Bus??!?!?)

Ok. Shishi don’t come out! Shishi, don’t come out!

 

I drove as fast as I could. It was morning traffic. There was nowhere to stop the car & look for a drain, let alone a toilet!

Mummy, I need to shishi!

I know, I know… we are going to reach school soon. Let’s ask the shishi not to come out first!

Shishi don’t come out! Don’t come out! Mummy, Mummy, my kuku is going to explode!

eruption

 

AHHH! ok, Mummy is driving as fast as I can.

 

Mummy, if my kuku explodes, I will have a patpat right?

?!?!?!

For readers who are a little lost, in our family, we use baby vocab kuku & patpat for the male and female anatomy respectively. Don’t ask me why, but it certainly seems easier to say then the actual word ya?

In any case, we got to school dry. Nathan rushed in to the toilet, pee-ed his heart out. I was so tickled by his comments, I shared it with some parents. And I learnt new tips about this phase in their lives!

toilet training 2

Parenting Tips for Toilet Training your Toddlers

1. Always have a spare pull-up diaper in the car

This works for ALL emergencies! No fuss at all!

2. For boys, STAND AS FAR AS YOU CAN FROM HIM.

When they reach the toilet, always stand as far as you can from the boys!  Once the pants comes down, he SHOOTS!

A mummy shared that her shoes always get wet when she pulls down her son’s pants!

3.RUN!                                                                                                          

As soon as your child tells you he needs to pee, RUN to the nearest toilet/bush/drain. For all kids, when they tell you they need to go, the pee is probably already close to bursting point!

As an aside, my method of telling the shishi not to come out seems to work! I’ve not had any accidents ever!

But recently, Nicole said she wanted to poo. So I did the usual, “Tell the poopoo not to come out first”. And she answered me…

Mummy, my poopoo has NO EARS!

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