I decided to start a series – Why Did I? on this blog to chronicle reasons why I made certain decisions in my parenting journey.

Nicole is now five and I am beginning to forget what was my original frame of mind when I made certain decisions. By the time Nathan and Nadine came along, it was a case of, “What did we do the last time?”.

You can be sure, I stopped consulting those Parenting Books for #2 & #3! There was simply no time! So they inherited the goodness (& badness) of what we did with #1!

I figured if I don’t document this somewhere, it would eventually just disappear. Years down the road, I’ll end up like an old nag when I tell my kids what to do with their kids, cos Mummy-used-to-do-it-although-I-don’t-know-why!!

So first on this series – the age-old debate on Pacifier Usage!

Just the other day, I saw an old picture of Nicole and the pacifier. (and at TWO years old!!!)

I remember when I was pregnant, I told myself – NO pacifier for my kids. It would affect their teeth growth, it would give them a false sense of security, it would confuse them – pacifier vs breast teats vs bottle teats …

Yet, there she was, chewing on her PIE (that’s what she called it) so nonchalantly. Clearly, we gave her the go ahead! And we found pictures of Nathan and Nadine with it too. (Justification: Nathan stopped at 6 months, Nadine stopped at 3 months) So why?

Reasons in chronological order:

1. We bought two pacifiers just in case the baby needed it.

2. Nicole kept crying. and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying.

3. It was not time for milk. Her bottom was clean. It was not a hot day. We were playing music at the background. AND we didn’t want to carry her anymore.

4. We shoved it in her mouth, and initially she spitted it out. (Who wouldn’t? Try shoving a foreign object into someone’s mouth!) Greatest deception – 1st-time parents’ natural response: “Look at that, she’s so clever! She doesn’t like the pacifier!”

5. Nicole kept crying. and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying

6. We shoved and we shoved and we shoved the pacifier in. She stopped crying.

7. When #2 and #3 came along, we bought SIX pacifiers knowing that the baby needs it.

And that’s why I gave my kids the pacifier.

Well, it seems that all of us parents have to go through that sooner or later and recently, I had the privilege to conduct an email interview with Fiona Walker (CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning, Chiltern House Child Care Centres and Julia Gabriel School of Education) to get her input about about choosing a Pre-School?

Fiona has had more than a decade of experience with Pre-Schoolers and I thought that this interview will be very useful for us parents.

Here are some of the questions that I put to her:

1. What are some factors to consider when looking for a pre-school?

Choosing the right pre-school for your child can be challenging for parents. Here are few tips that can help you and your child feel confident you have made the right choice.

• Decide what location you prefer and what your budget is. It is important that the school you choose will comfortably fit into your family’s lifestyle.
• Once you have narrowed down the possibilities, make arrangements to visit the schools. Many schools will have a similar sounding philosophy so it is important you know what to look for so you can see if it will work for you and your child.
• On your visit ask yourself – Do the children seem happy, are they actively engaged in a variety of activities, is the environment bright, cheerful and filled with children’s art work, is the equipment plentiful, varied and in good condition? Do the teachers seem happy, are they engaged with the children, are they good language models and are they observant and aware of all the children in their care, are the children comfortable and affectionate with the teachers?
• If you are happy with your first impression then make an appointment to meet the principal. You may consider asking the following questions:

· What are the teachers’ experience and qualifications?

· How important is the child’s social and emotional development as opposed to the more academic development?

· How does the school ensure the children are prepared for Primary One?

· How does the school deal with children testing boundaries and conflict? This is a normal aspect of young children’s development but it is important that you agree with the schools approach to discipline.

· How does the school ensure safety during pick-up times, outdoor play and field trips?

· How well is the curriculum suited to meet individual learning styles and personalities?

· How involved are parents? What channels of communication between home and school are encouraged?

2. What is the most appropriate age to send a child for pre-school?

Generally the most appropriate age to send children to preschool is between 2 and 3.

This is when children will generally have developed the language needed to express needs and wants, the physical development to be able to go to the toilet independently and the cognitive understanding to become familiar with the routines within the school setting. All of these stages of development are good indicators of whether or not a child will be able to make the transition to independent schooling without too much separation anxiety and distress.

3. What is the difference between a childcare/pre-school that is MCYS endorsed and MOE endorsed?

A childcare operated by the MCYS offers childcare for working parents as well as an MOE approved curriculum. Childcare centres must operate from 7:00a.m. to 7:00p.m., throughout the year.

Fees are paid monthly and a subsidy of $300 per month for full day is given to Singaporean parents.

MOE kindergartens run during the school term times of 40 weeks a year. They generally run for 3 hours a day and are not eligible for subsidy. Many kindergartens offer additional enrichment programmes for additional cost.

4. What are some factors that we can compromise if parents cannot afford the top premium schools.

Get ready for a list of “Do Not’s” here:

• Do not compromise on providing your child what is necessary for a happy day at school.
• Do not compromise on a cheerful, bright environment which is well kept and clean.
• Do not compromise on kind, caring staff who genuinely love their job and enjoy spending time with your child.
• Do not compromise on senior staff members who understand the needs of young children and can balance that with the needs of the Singaporean school system.
• Do not compromise on a curriculum which means children learn through active, hands-on experiences NOT teacher directed rote learning.
• Do not compromise on open communication with the school.

The most premium schools generally have small class sizes, expensive, imported equipment and very well qualified staff. Of course that is all wonderful but children can often flourish in a larger group with interesting, age appropriate resources as long as the teachers understand them, the lessons are well planned and involve active learning.

-end of interview-

I think that these tips are very useful considerations that we can take into account when we are considering a pre-school for our children.

Most importantly, I think we must find a good pre-school within our family’s budget as well.

I know of parents who take extra jobs just to provide a premium school education for their kids… We Parents must realize that Mums and Dads are the best role models for our children, and that there is no substitute for Quality Time!

Check out more Parenting Tips at the Julia Gabriel Blogger’s Forum.

Before I go, do remember to vote for me TODAY at the Singapore Blog Awards.

You can Vote again, even if you have done so already, and you can find out more details here! Thanks

…the carpark was filled with cars, and there were only MEN going into the carpark lift…

…the hotel hotel was filled with MEN as well and when I entered the Ballroom, I saw the largest gathering of Dads in one place!

(I was relived to know that terrorist were not targeting Dads!)

This was the scene that greeted me, as I went for the inaugural Parenting Conference for Dads for Life. (Many Thanks to Maybe Baby * for sponsoring my ticket)

Check out the full article on the Maybe Baby site, as I discuss Josh Mcdowell’s Parenting Tips and other insights in this week’s blog entry at Maybe Baby.

* Maybe Baby is a Parenting Site supported by MCYS to provide a one-stop localised interactive on-line parenthood portal for couples seeking information on fertility, sexual intimacy, finances, lifestyle issues, pregnancy, work-life balance and other parenthood-related issues.

The last time we went for a Hippo Bus Tour was in December 2008! Check out how the kids looked back then!

My..my..my! How they have grown!

This time round, the Hippo Tour was coming with a new and different twist! We were doing it at night (Previously, we did it in the day) and we were going to experience the Bugis/Bras Basah Precinct in a totally different setting.

This tour is organized by our friends from Omy.sg, in cooperation with the radio stations 91.3 FM and 100.3 FM! So…it was going to be great ride as we were going to be entertained by the Radio DJs from the station.

The kids were really excited as we gathered at the National Museum and saw the buses arriving at 7pm.

Before we could board our Bus, our DJs’ Jeremy Ratnam and Maddy grabbed onto their Loud-Hailers and entertained us with their witty sense of humour, as they gathered us.

As the buses came, we were spilt into 2 buses of enthusiastic “Hippolites”. We got into the 91.3 buses, and naturally we were all covered in 91.3 memorabilia.

The kids loved the Hippo Bus and they just loved sitting on the Upper Deck and exploring the bus. Here’s Nicole looking at the driver’s controls.

The Bus route covered the Old Bras Basah Area such as the Singapore Art Museum (The Old St. Joseph’s Institution) and the old Armenian Church.

DJ Jeremy Ratnam was really knowledgeable about the Bras Basah Area, as he used to stay around the area. He told us about what the places used to look like before the renovations and most importantly, where the best food in the area was found!

We made our pit-stop at Chijmes (This is the location of the Old Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus).  DJ Maddy who used to study here also briefly told the bus, that the convent was ideally situated for the guys at St. Joseph’s Institution to “gawk” at. I think some things never change!  

Chijmes is actually very beautifully lighted up at night, and this was the 1st time the kids were there. We walked around, slowly enjoying the night scenes and the kids loved playing at the fountain.

Jeremy Ratnam ended the Chijmes tour by giving us a brief historical rundown of the old Convent.

In fact, I remember when I was young, the old convent was really run-down and it had old dirty stained walls. 

Now, it is really well done-up and also boats of many  bustling pubs and eateries. In fact, with the many large screens in the area, it looks like an ideal place the catch the European Cup Finals or the World Cup in June with some friends.

Is the Tour Worth Going?

I think that the Hippo Ride at fun is really more enjoyable than going in the day!

This is because the weather at night is much more pleasant, and it makes sitting at the upper deck of the bus more tolerable.

I remember literally “sweating like a dog” the last time, I sat at the upper deck.

The Night scenes also offered a different view of Singapore, and generally there is more relaxed mood, when you see the city at night!

The only thing missing was the food – and if the Singapore Tourism Board, could do something about that, I am sure that the Buses can really bring in the Tourists! 

Overall, It was a fun thing for the family to do, and the kids enjoyed the bus ride! Thanks once again to Omy for the tickets!

Family Night Out – A New Parenting Initiative by NTUC seems to be perfect solution to all our Parenting Solutions.

Last Friday, NTUC had its Inaugural Event at eXplorer Kids @ E!hub in Downtown East.

With the event held at the largest Indoor Playground, the location was a definite hit with my kids!

In fact, upon entering the Playground, they quickly forgot about my existence and they headed for the slides and obstacles.

Meanwhile, as the kids were playing outside, the Parents were learning from:

Mr. Lau Tat Chuan (Director of the Centre for Fathering)

The talk was designed to help us explore practical methods to balance career and family aspirations, and discover new approaches towards successful living and parenting.

Mr Lau is a father himself and with his oldest child in his early teens, it was really informative to hear from someone who has had a lot more experiences in Parenting.

Here are some quick issues he brought up:

1. Quality Time Vs. Quantity Time

Many working parents “harp” on the fact that it is not Quantity Time that is important but it is Quality Time that really counts.

Eg. No point getting your kids out for breakfast, if you are just reading your Newspapers and ignoring them at the breakfast table.

However, Mr Lau pointed out that when it comes to Quality Time, there is a certain intangible Quantity Time that must be invested. I thought this made sense, as we need to give them a certain amount of Quantity Time, before we can hit this threshold of Quality Time.

2. Different Roles of Men and Women

Women tend to be generally more physically protective of their children rather than Men. At the playground, Men are more relaxed, while Women tend to worry more when the kids are up on the slides and on the swing.

Women are also just more detailed and more emotionally connected which makes up for the shortcomings of most Men. 

Overall, I think that Mr. Lau was a very sincere speaker, and his stories about How he Shouted at his eldest kid too much really displayed honesty and openness.

I think as Parents, we must understand that it is basically On-the-Job Training, and most importantly, we must be willing to change our Parenting Styles whenever it is not working.

If you are interested in Parenting Talks such as the one discussed here. There will be more talks coming up on 14 May 2010.

It will still be at eXplorer kids, so you don’t need to worry about baby-sitting the children.

Date:

14 May 2010

Time:

8.00 pm to 9.00 pm (talk)
7.30pm to 10.00 pm (children’s playtime at eXplorerkid)

Venue:

E!Hub @ Downtown East, 1 Pasir Ris Close, 3rd Level, Singapore 519599

Get more details from the U Family website!

One of the questions I asked our Pre-School experts was:

How can I prepare my child for school, and help them prepare for the much anticipated 1st day at school?

I asked this question, as the 1st day of pre-school is commonly a day of tears and much crying. Sometimes, it is a day where you see parents “tearing” their kids off them, as they try to drop them off at school.

Fiona Walker (CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning & Chiltern House) reiterated that it is important to prepare them for this journey by not just preparing them mentally but also “stretching the bond” between child and care-giver.

There seems to be an “invisible” chord between child and care-giver.

I am sure you understand what I mean as sometimes our toddlers cry like “there’s no tomorrow”, when you:

• Leave them to go to the toilet
• Walk briskly to take something from the bedroom
• Put them into the hands of a relative or a good friend.
• And the list goes on….

As Parents, we need to stretch this cord as much as we can!

We start slowly by:

• Going down to the shop downstairs without them
• Leaving them at a Grandparent’s house.
• Letting them join a party at a friend’s house alone
• Putting them into Sunday School without a helper around.

Both myself and my wife are working, so I guess we have been doing these things sub-consciously.

It also helps that after we have broken through with Nicole, Nathan seemed to take to school like a “fish in the water”.

Mentally, he knows that it is the norm, and that’s probably why he did not really “kick up a fuss”, when he went to school. So, having a sibling that sets the pattern really helps!

Julia Gabriel is a MEGA BIG   household brand for all Parents as they provide Premium childcare and education for children.

Therefore it was a real privilege when their PR company contacted me and wanted to do something with us!

What was the Julia Gabriel Forum about?

Well, when I was a kid, I told my mum once, “I’m not Chinese, I’m English”! (Of course I was referring to speaking and learning the language)

It was totally foreign, and understanding it alone was a REAL  CHORE! (remember writing and rewriting each character in those little boxes? And memorising them? ARRGH…)

As a parent, I was worried that my kids would say the same thing to me! (You know what they say: You reap what you sow!)

Basically, the team from Julia Gabriel was here to hear our concerns about Mandarin, and they were also ready to offer us helpful parenting tips to conquer our FEARS!

The topic of the day was therefore:

Mandarin and your Child!

Honestly, before meeting the JG staff, I was a bit apprehensive…

Are they going to make me read Chinese every  day to the kids?

Do I have to watch Channel 8 from today onwards?

Are they going to convince me that Chinese Enrichment classes are a must, since my Mandarin is so bad?

Well, the fears were allayed immediately when we met their staff.

Introducing:

Fiona Walker (Left) – CEO of Julia Gabriel for Learning, Chiltern House Child Care Centres and Julia Gabriel School of Education

 Huang Ying (Right)– Head of Mandarin Department.

Tips for Parents

As educators, they gave us insights to what the ‘playing field’ was like. And, as parents themselves, they brought out valuable inputs that really matched our concerns! We heard personal experiences of how their kids learn Mandarin and the struggles they face at home and in school.

In fact, they were both quite inspirational!

Some quick highlights…

It was a BIG relief to know that even though Huang Ying was from China, she still had to make a great effort to make Chinese enjoyable to her child!

And it was heartening to hear that Fiona’s daughter enjoys Mandarin despite both parents not speaking a word of it!

….It was a Phew! If she can do it, we can do it too! (Or rather… we must be able to do it! Cos if we fail…quite embarrassing hor!)

So what did we learn about Mandarin and pre-schoolers? Tune in to my next post!

I guess the main cause is that COEs have been going up, and also because recently my Toyota Wish has been giving me problems.

The Toyota Wish is a real functional car, but it has grown to a bit cramp for the family. With the 2 car seats, and 1 booster seat, the car is always fully-packed when we go out. In terms of the car interiors, the kids have maximized all the compartments, and even my cup holder has been stolen by the kids. (Read about it here)

I decided to test-drive a mini MPV instead of a full size MPV(as they have better fuel consumption), and after driving Japanese all my life, I decided to test drive a European car as they offered better road handling and safety.

I was looking at 2 essential ingredients: Safety and Performance.

With these factors in mind, I looked at:

1) The Volkswagen Touran

2) Citroen Grand Picasso

Both of them are Ranked 5 star in terms to European Safety standards and in terms of Performance:

Both cars have a turbo engine, but the Volkswagen has more power and offers better fuel consumption. (I will spare you all the techie specifications, as it might be a bit boring to read if u are not a car enthusiast)

The Volkswagen also needs a smaller area to make a turn, and it is therefore more agile as compared to the Citroen Grand Picasso.

When looking at the Interior:

The Volkswagen is very simple and functional. This is German Efficiency at its best, and everything is placed with no frills and made with a “boring” efficiency.

For the French Citroen Grand Picasso:

The Driving Console was artistically done, with lots of extra compartments to put all your essentials. The car also has a “moon roof” and it has increased visibility with it’s larger than life windscreen.

In the Volkswagen Touran:

Last row seats were small, which were similar to the Citroen. However, the car seemed smaller than the Citroen, and it felt cramped when the family squeezed into the German Automobile.

Both Cars could fold their 2 and 3rd row seats down, so as to carry more luggage, and both had European simplicity in shifting the chairs.

Hmm…Which car should I choose? Power or Functionability?

Find out in the next post…

How many of you remember your Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales?

As a parent of 3 pre-schoolers, I’ve to tell stories, sing songs and recite nursery rhymes often.

On good days, I’ve the luxury of having a book to rely on. That’s when I can confidently role play, change my voice, do silly actions and make strange faces to illustrate my point. (think of the BIG BAD wolf speaking in a low rumbly voice, and how Humpty Dumpty’s face would look like when he fell!)

But woe to me, if I’ve to do any of the above when I don’t have the book with me. You see, I’m not so sure of all the stories! I do know the basic story line. Alas, the actual words, or the actual ending? hmmm…like what ever happened to the wolf in the 3 little Pigs?

Here’s my struggles. This is Part 1—Fairy Tales:

1. Red Riding Hood

There was a little girl, (who wore red, had a red hood, red dress, blah blah blah). She went to visit her grandma who lived in the woods. When she reached the house, grandma was replaced by the wolf.

Sigh… that’s when I realised I forgot to tell the part about her meeting the wolf on her way there. So I back track. Then, I got stuck, when did they meet? How did the woodcutter (or was it a hunter) come into the picture?

Ohhh! and was grandma eaten up? Or was she tied up in the cupboard? And how did it end? did the wolf die? or it ran away?

2. Three Little Pigs

There were once three little pigs who each built a house (one straw, one wood, one bricks… blah blah blah)

I thought this was an easy story. But I found it rather incredulous that each pig had enough time to RUN to the next house while the wolf blew the house down.

Then came the ending. The pigs boiled a big cauldron of water, and wolf fell in from the roof. And then??

Nicole said, the pigs ate the wolf. Some friends told me the wolf screamed in pain and ran away. Some said that’s it, the end. So what happened?!?

3. Beauty & the Beast

Long ago, there was a girl who… uh oh… why did she go to the Beast’s house?

Oh yes, her daddy went there. erm.. but why?

Anyway, she went there and the Beast didn’t let her go (can’t remember why?!?!) and she made friends with the pots and pans and forks and spoons. (Cue for me to sing Shall We Dance here).

And her daddy (now back at home?!) was sick, so she left. Then the Beast got sick, and she went back, and they kissed and they lived happily ever after.

Gee what a terrible memory I have! I hope all of you have a better idea of these fairy tales! I’ve not dared to tell The Shoemaker and the Elves, Rumplestilskin, Princess & the Pea etc…

Tune in for Part 2 of my struggles—Nursery Rhymes!

Wow! When I saw the email invite, I was curious! A blockbuster exhibition? Treasury of the WORLD?

When I read on, I realised this is no ordinary collection! It has been shown in the British Museum in London, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, the Louvre in Paris… and now for the first time in Asia—in Singapore!

I’m no historian, but when I read about what would be shown at this collection, I really wanted to see the artefacts up close!

So along with Nicole, we went for this exclusive sneak peek! Ooohh it was a night of Indian Culture! We had a short introduction to the Mughal Empire – one of the wealthiest dynasties ever in the world.

Some interesting facts:

- the Mughal rulers lived lavishly. Everything they owned was jewelled with precious stones. Check out the dagger…

It’s adorned with rubies, diamonds, emeralds, ivory and agate! And that round ball-looking thing? That’s a mouthpiece for a smoking pipe. It’s just good ol’ rubies that they used!

- the Mughals loved life and lived it to the fullest! They smoked pipes, and collected art pieces.

- the Mughals were passionate people. The famous Taj Mahal was built by a Mughal emperor, out of his love for his beloved queen. One of the rulers who had a harem of 5,000!

After the presentation, we were treated to an Indian dance performance, and were even taught basic dance steps! (See how shy Nicole was!

Nicole had a blast as she bravely offered her leg to the Henna artist. We had to convince her one leg is enough! She wanted her hands and legs and face drawn!

Artist at work:

Near completion:

Check out Nathan—our little Mughal prince! (much thanks to ACM for the turban)

I can’t wait for the exhibition when it runs from 12 February-27 June! The whole family would be going down to see how the Mughals lived, try their clothes, taste their food, and have a hand at some jewellery designing. I know Mummy is definitely going to check out those precious stones!

FREE TICKETS TO THE MUSUEM

AND… I have 5 pairs of tickets to give away to my readers!

To qualify, simply leave a comment on this post by completing this sentence (less than 50 words):

“I have a bit of the Mughals in me because … …”

Please send in your entries by 5 Feb 2010, 2300hrs .

Winners will be announced on 7 Feb 2010.

Valentine’s Day Contest

Well, that’s not all! The museum is having a Valentine’s Day contest for visitors in February.

In celebration of the Mughals’ passion, ACM is giving one lucky visitor a chance to win a prize of a venue sponsorship of ACM’s River Terrace and River Room. The location is ideal for a wedding, anniversary party, or any special occasion! Look at the pictures!

To win, simply fill in a contest form stating your favourite artefact and why. You can drop in your form into a box at the end of the exhibition. More information is available at the museum. The contest closes on 28 Feb 2010.

So quickly send in your entries to win those tickets!

Below are additional details about the exhibition:

Date: 12 February to 27 June 2010

Venue: Asian Civilisations Museum, 1 Empress Place, Singapore 179555

Website: www.acm.org.sg

Admission charges: $8 (adults) / $4 (concession); Family packages at $20 for up to 5 pax. Free admission for children aged 6 and below and seniors aged 60 and above.

Opening hours: Mon 1 p.m. – 7 p.m., Tues to Sun 9 a.m. – 7 p.m. (to 9 p.m. on Fri)

Tips for Parents:

On the 27 & 28 March, ACM is organizing a weekend festival for the Treasury of the World.

It’s going to be carnival time as you get to try out the Mughals’ favourite past-time of archery, and get to watch live performances of song & dance!

Cool Yah!!! See you at the ACM!